Author : Maman Maama Category : Romance
kar Allah ya gani ba, tunda ya san ko ina ya shiga ko mai boyewar sa Allah yana kallon sa amma still yake yin abinsa"
"A fahimtata wannan shine yasa duk addu'ar da kika dauki shekaru kina yi masa ta fatan shiriya har yanzu bai shiryu din ba, ba wai dan Allah baya karbar addu'ar ki bane ba, a'a Allah yana karba amma shi yasan cewa Umar bai yi nadama ba bai yi taubatun nasuha ba, dan haka sai ya juya miki addu'ar ki zuwa abinda yafi alkhairi a gare ki. Shi yasa kike cigaba da samun nasara da daukaka a duka abinda kika saka a gaba"
"Kamar yadda umar ya gaya miki cewa sex addiction dinsa ne nima na yarda da hakan, musamman tunda ya ce ya fara ne tun yana da karancin shekaru dan haka barin sa zaiyi masa wuya, amma babu abinda yake da wahala a gurin ubangiji indai har bawa ya yarda dashi ya mika lamarin sa gare shi ya kuma yi hobbasa tare da yin iyakacin iyawarsa, tabbas Allah zaiyi wa wannan bawa nasa jagora zuwa tsira. Amma Umar bai yi kokarin komai ba, instead, he is busy enjoying his addiction"
"Anan kuma zan dauki laifin ne kusam gabaki dayan sa in dora wa iyayensa, negligence din su ne ya kai shi zuwa matakin da yake ciki a yanzu. Kuma ba wai zan dora wa iyayen Umar kadai laifin ba, zan dora laifin ga iyayen mu gabakidaya. Negligence din su akan tarbiyyar yaya maza ita ta kawo mu a matsayin da muke ciki yanzu a cikin al'umma musamman ta bangaren zinace zinace"
"Tun farko mutanen mu sun dauki wani mentality na cewa komai namiji yayi ado ne ƴa mace ita ce mai abin kunya, tun daga wannan statement din zamu fahimci cewa mutane basu dauki zunubin yin zina da wani muhimmanci ba, sunfi gudun abin kunya. In namiji yayi ai babu wanda zai sani, mace kuwa zata iyayin ciki aji kunyar al'umma ko kuma in tayi loosing virginity dinta shima za'a ji kunyar mijinta. Amma kunyar ubangiji fa? Kunyar kasa sauke nauyin da Allah ya dora musu na tarbiyya a matsayin su na iyaye fa?"
"Ba zan yiwa iyaye gabakidaya kudin goro ba, akwai masu kulawar, amma most basa kula da tarbiyyar namiji kamar yadda suke kula da mace, namiji da ya tashi kawai burin iyaye shine yayi karatu mai zurfi ko ya samu sana'a kwakwkwara, islamiyya ma ba'a fiya matsa musu su je ba shi yasa in an zo yin sauka sai kiga matan ajin saukar sun ninka mazan. Ba'a dami da idan ya fita ina yake zuwa ba, ba'a damu da wa yake mu'amala ba. Ba'a damu da me yake yi a inda yake zuwa ba. Hankali gabakidaya ya tafi kan kanwarsa ko yayarsa ana tabbatar wa da bata yawo ana tabbatar wa da tana saka hijab, ana tabbatar wa da bata da kawayen banza bata kula samarin banza. Shi kuma fa?"
"Ko a gurin tashin balaga, iyaye basu wani damu da yaya maza ba, mace da ga ta fara period hankali zai yi kanta za'a fara kafa mata dokoki, wasu ma har cewa suke yi "in kika bari namiji ya kama hannun ki zaki yi ciki" meaning cikin ake tsoro kenan ba wai abinda zaiyi leading to cikin ba. Amma babu wanda yake tsare namiji yace masa "in ka kama hannun mace zaka yi mata ciki" saboda me? Saboda me ake wannan banbancin for God's sake?"
"Suma ta yaya mazan suna bukatar guidance kamar yadda matan suke bukata. In suka balaga suna ganin changes a jikinsu kamar yadda matan suke gani, kuma suna bukatar a zaunar dasu a koyar da su a kuma saka su a hanyar yadda zasu kula da kansu."
Imagine yaron daya fara balaga, ya fara wet dreams, ya fara samun early morning erections, ya fara jin feelings idan yaga jikin mace, ya fara jin yana so ya kasance da mace, ya fara ganin gashi a private part dinsa. Kuma bai san ya zaiyi ba, bai san ya zaiyi da wannan erection din ba, bai san ya zai yi managing wannan feeling din na son kasancewa da mace ba, babu wanda kuma ya zaunar dashi ya ce masa wane ga abinda zaka yi in kaji kaza ga yadda zakayi kamar yadda ake zaunar da mata ayi musu. Ko da ace an saka su islamiyya sun san cewa zina babu kyau a lokacin basu da cikakken hankalin fahimtar illarta, kuma tunda iyaye basu dora su akan hanyar da zasu bi ba sai su fara exploring da kansu. A age din ake fara masturbating. Daga nan kuma sun fara dandanar dadin abin sai su cigaba da exploring. Idan suka hadu da yammatan da suma suke going through the same puberty stage sai su fara aikata zina, kamar abinda ya faru da Umar, a lokacin da ace iyayensa sun saka ido sun lura da zasu iya dakile abin, amma basu ma sani ba saboda basu saka ido ba, sun bar shi shi kadai saboda suna ganin ai shi namiji ne babu komai, a hankali har ya gama fahimtar dadin abin, har abin ya gama shiga jikin sa ya zamar masa addiction ta yadda zaiyi wahala ya rabu dashi"
"Abinda iyayen sa da namu da mu kanmu muka sani amma muke acting kamar bamu sani ba shine ita zina bashi ce, in dai namiji yayi da kanwar wani sai anyi da tasa, in yayi da matar wani sai anyi da tasa, in yayi da uwar wani sai anyi da tasa, fadar Annabi ce sannan kuma alkawarin Annabi baya tashi. Shi wannan dan naki da kika bari babu tarbiyya, shi zai je ya ciwo bashin zinar da za'a zo a fanshe akan ƴar da kika killace kika yi wa tarbiyyar, an yi biyu babu kenan"
"Amma da ace zamu kula da tarbiyyar yayan mu maza tare da matan baki daya, mu cire mentality din cewa duk abinda namiji yayi ado ne, then we no longer need to worry about yayan mu mata. Idan ni da ke da sauran iyaye zamu bawa yayanmu maza tarbiyyar then there is a good chance cewa yayan mu mata zasu samu miji na gari, za'a daina samun yaran kirki irin ki suna karewa da auren lalatattu irin Umar. Idan mukayi haka, insha Allah, watarana zamu gabayan wannan zinace zinacen da muke fama da shi"
"Akan case din ki da Umar kuma. Ni a ganina, wannan shawarar da kika yanke na rabuwar da shi ita ce dai dai. Dan at this stage zama da Umar is dangerous to your physical and mental health, sannan kuma to your children. Tunda har kika iya daukan makami kina aiyana kai shi lahira, kuma kika iya daukan hannunki kika mare shi ba tare da kinsan kinyi marin ba, to tabbas Allah ne kadai yasan abinda zaki yi watarana in kika cigaba da zama da shi da sunan hakuri"
"Sannan kuma tunda har umarya kai matsayin da shaidan zai kawata masa kuchakar, kazamar mai aikin ki ya neme ta to tabbas nan gaba har ƴar yarinyar nan Yasmin shaidan zai iya kawata masa ita yaji yana son yaji ya take itama? Saboda abinda ma fahimta dashi ba wai mabukaci bane ba a'a kwadayayye ne. Kowacce mace ya gani sai yaji yana so yayi tasting, kuma matan ba karewa suke yi ba kuma ba karewar zasuyi ba shi yasa shima ba zai daina din ba. Kuma ba wai son su yake yi ba, daga ya kawarda kwadayin sa yake wulakanta su ya zubar dasu a bola kamar yadda ya faru da wadanda kika sani. Yana kuma da kyau da kudi da iya tsara maganar da zai yaudari duk wacce yake so. No woman is safe around maza irin Umar. Kamar yadda kika kori twins din nan daga gidan ki haka zaki cigaba da korar mutane dan kar ya neme su, kuma ba zai fasa neman ba, hatta Amira ba zaki so ta zauna a gidan ki ba, kuma hakan baya nufin in ta zauna kika fita kika barsu su biyu ba zai neme ta ba. Ko da bai ci nasara akan ta ba amma ai mutuncin sa da naki duk ya zube a gurin ta, a gurin duk wadda ya nema din".
Tabbas a ganina rabuwa din is the right thing to do a wannan matsayin da kuke ciki. Shi kansa auren fa ba farilla bane ba, abinda ake yi a cikin auren in anyi shi sune farilla. Mutum zai iya zama babu aure indai har zai kare hakkokin ubangiji kuma ya shiga aljanna, mutum kuma zai iya yin aure
sannan kuma ya kekketa haddin aure sanadiyyar hakan kuma sai ya shiga wuta. Tabbas ubangiji shi ya halasta rabuwar aure amma kuma sai yace shi kansa baya son ta, amma kuma still bai haramta ta saboda ya san cewa wani lokacin rabuwar ita ce best solution for both parties. Rabuwar zata iya zama alkhairi a gare ki kuma alkhairi a gare shi. Abinda yasa nace alkhairi a gare shi saboda na fahimci yana son ki sosai, hence tashin hankalin sa a duk lokacin da kika kama shi da wannan laifin, amma me? Yaki daina wa duk ba cewa yana son ki kuma baya son bacin ranki amma kuma yasan kina sonsa kuma zaki bashi wani chance din. Wannan shine takamar sa. In ma kin kama shi daga yayi miki kuka ya nuna miki ya yi nadama shikenan zaki hakura. Stop giving him chances. Show him kazantar abinda yake yi yayi munin da ba zaki iya cigaba da zama da shi ba. Show him you can live without him you are better off without him. Watakila wannan zai nuna masa how deep yake a cikin kazanta. Watakila wannan zai farkar da shi daga baccin gafalal da yake ciki"
*Here's the bitter truth whether anybody likes it or not: The more chances you give someone in a relationship the less respect they start to have for you. They will begin to ignore the standards that you've set because they'll know another chance will always be given. They're not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you won't walk away. They get comfortable with depending on your forgiveness. Never let a person get comfortable disrespecting you*
Na sauke ajjiyar zuciya. Maganganun ta sun shige ni sosai and they made me feel more determine and more focused on abinda na saka a gaba, rabuwa da Umar. Nace "naji duk abinda kika fada, kuma na gode sosai da maganganun ki da kuma shawarwari. Amma yanzu na riga na yanke shawarar da kike bani ta rabuwa da Umar, sai dai kuma ban san ta inda zan fara ba. Umar ba zai taba sakina ba, ya fada ya kuma maimaita wa. Ta yaya zanyi in rabu da shi idan bai sake ni ba?"
Tace "Jidda ke mutum ce, free woman mai cikakken yanci ba baiwa ba, Allah ya baki daraja mai yawa kuma ya baki zabi a duk al'amuran rayuwar ki. A cikin zabin nan har na zama da mijinki ko akasin haka. Allah ya bayar da saki a hannun maza, amma saboda adalci irin nasa sai ya bawa mata suma nasu damar, ba wai damar ki ce ki saki mijinki ba a'a, sai dai zaki iya zuwa Shari'a court gaban alkali ki ce kina so a raba auren ki da mijin ki ba kya son cigaba da zama da shi. Wannan dama ce da addinin ki ya baki. Kuma alkali zai saurare ki tunda ya san damar ki ce. Zaki iya fadar kowanne dalili a matsayin dalilin da yasa kike son rabuwa da shi. Zaki iya cewa ma ba kya son sa ne yanzu ba kya son cigaba da muamalar aure da shi, shima wannan dalili ne da addini ya yarda a duba. Tabbas addini dan sulhu ne, musamman tunda ana maganar aure za'a yi kokarin yi muku sulhu, za'a kira shi da shi da waliyansa da naki sai ace ku je kuyi sulhu. Zaki iya amfani da wannan damar a gaban iyayensa da iyayenki da wakilin alkali wanda za'a hada ku da shi ki fadi duk labarin da kika fada min yanzu. There is a very high chance na cewa Umar zai rikice yayi admitting a gaban su sannan yayi kokarin rokon su su baki hakuri. Daga yayi admitting magana ta kare, alkali zai raba auren ku dan addini bai amince da aure tsakanin mumina da kuma fasiki ba. Alkalai da yawa suna raba aure in an tabbatar cewa miji ko mata fasiki ne".
"Idan kuma a zaki iya fadar wannan maganar a gaban waliyyanku ba saboda tayi miki nauyi ko saboda kina son kiyi preserving mutuncin sa da naki da na yayanku to kina da second option, zaki iya dagewa lallai ke ba kya son sulhu ke rabuwa kike so. To anan alkali zai nemi ki dawo wa da Umar sadakin da ya bayar lokacin da zai aure ki. Wadansu alkalan suna neman a dawo da har saura kudaden da aka kashe na al'ada musamman idan ba'a jima da yin auren ba, in an jima ma yawanci sadaki kadai ake karba tunda shine farilla sauran duk al'ada ce. But ya danganta da alkalin. But either way zaki bawa Umar wani abu alkali zai baki takardar da take nuna cewa ya raba auren ku. Shikenan."
Na yi shiru ina tunani, ta bani zabi har biyu, hanyoyi har biyu da zasu bullo da ni zuwa freedom from Umar, but kowacce akwai kalubale a cikin ta. Hanya ta farko zata wanke ni amma zata yi leading to abinda bana so, tonuwar asirin Umar ga jama'a tunda ba iyayen mu ne waliyyan mu ba, ni abokin Abba ne shi kuma kanin Baba, wadanda bani da tabbas din zasu boye maganar.
Option na biyu kuma ni zan fada a ciki, everyone will blame me for breaking my marriage for no reason, amma na shirya karbar blame din indai har ba za'a shafawa yayana fentin babansu ba. Sai dai kuma iyayena, Umma da Abba su nake so su fahimce ni kuma su goya min baya. If I can get them to do that then I will go for the second option.
Nace "matsala ta shine iyayena. Banaso in yi komai ba tare da amincewar su ba. Bana so suyi fushi da ni" tace "tabbas. Nima ba zanso kiyi komai ba tare da yardar su ba, dole sai mun nemo yadda zamu bi su fahimce ki tukunna" na fara jujjuya hannuna "ba wai fahimtar ba Diyam, yadda Abba zai tsaya ya saurare ni ma nake nema ni yanzu. Ita kuma Umma ba zata taba yarda cewa rabuwa da Umar a yanzu shine dai dai ba. Yajin da nayi ma already babban laifi ne a gurin Abba ballantana kuma guduwar da nayi. Ni tsoro nake ji ma kar ya tsine min akan wannan guduwar"
Ta rike hannuna "no ba zai yi haka ba Jidda, he is your father kuma yana son ki sosai in his own way. Wannan way din muke so mu samu muyi using mu jawo hankalin sa. Ban san how ba but nasan rashin sanin inda kike a yanzu will help him alot in realising how much he loves you. In kin yarda ki cigaba da zama anan gidan har zuwa lokacin da zamu ga is the right time da zaki koma gida, lokacin da muka ga in kika koma zai zauna ya saurare ki"
Na ce "ba zaki gane ba, baki san halin Abba ba. Shi fa Abba tun da nake da shi babu wanda na taba jin yace masa a'a, komai yace eh ake ce masa. Sai ni da ya cewa in koma gidan Umar naki kuma na gudu na bar gidan, in Abba ya kama ni kashe ni ne kawai ba zaiyi ba wallahi" tace "kiyi hakuri. Ki daina fadar haka. Insha Allah in muka hada kai dani da ke zamu samo zaren yadda zamu warware matsalar. In Sadauki ya dawo gobe zan yi masa bayanin ki da duk problem din ki. Insha Allah zai shiga cikin maganar kuma zai yi using that smart brain of his ya samo mana yadda zamuyi mu shawo kan Abba. Kuma zan nemi amincewar sa akan ki cigaba da zama anan kafin mu shawo kan matsalar. Zaki zauna ai ko".
Nayi shiru ina tunani. Tabbas gidan Diyam is perfect hideout for me and my kids. Umar bai santa ba, I might have mentioned her name to him once or twice a matsayin kawata dana rabu da ita tun a junior school amma bana jin ma zai tuno sunan ballantana wani abu da ya shafe ta. Mufida bata san ta ba dan sai bayan Diyam ta bar school din sannan Mufida ta shigo. Yan gidan mu basu santa ba, maybe tun sanda muna tare da ita zasu san sunanta amma tunda aka cire ta daga school akayi mata aure na daina maganar ta a gida suma kuma haka. Friends dina kuma da suka santa sun san bama tare shekara da shekaru, bana jin akwai wanda zai kawo ta ransa in ana nemana.
But amma babu takura? Inje gidan kawa in zauna har da yara?
Nace "bana so in takura muku Diyam, gidan ki daga ke sai mijinki da yaran ku kuma kawai sai inzo in zauna muku? Babu dangin iya babu na baba?" Sai ta mike "in kin yarda zaki zauna shine kadai abinda nake bukatar ji. Ni na riga nayi alkawarin I will help you get through this, in ba kya son gidan nan zan iya kama miki haya ki zauna for the mean time, amma ni nafi son ki zauna anan din saboda security"
Sai na mike nima ina rike hannayena a cikin juna "zan zauna din to, Nagode sosai Diyam. Allah yasa wannan taimakon da zaki yi min ya kasan ce sanadiyyar da ubangiji zaiyi farin ciki da ke" tayi murmushi tare da cewa "ameen. Nima Nagode da wannan addu'ar".
A ranar da yamma ta fita da kanta tayo mana siyayyar kayan sawa set biyar biyar ni da yara, da undies da sauran kayan bukata, da nayi mata maganar kudi sai tayi fushi, ni kuma ji nake kamar na dora mata nauyi da yawa ya kamata ace ta barni da siya mana kaya da
