Author : Maman Maama Category : Romance
nufin ka damu da tarbiyyar Yasmin? Ka damu da ita ka damu da lafiyar tunaninta? Kuma kake aikata abinda kake aikatawa bayan nasan kasan in baka daina ba kanta zai dawo?"
"Of course she is young yanzu amma dole watarana zata girma. Mai zakaji idan ka rasa gane kanta sai daga baya ka fahimci wani katon ne can daban yake hure mata kunne yana kaita gidan gona yana lalata da ita?"
Ya tako da sauri zuwa gabana ya saka hannunsa ya toshe bakina, idonsa kamar zai fado kasa, na kwace bakina nace "dole in fada maka dan shine reality din abinda zai fari damu in har baka daina ba. Annabi ne ya fada bani ba kuma kasan babu makawa in dai annabi ya fadi abu sai ya kasance. Yace duk wanda yayi zina da ya, mata, kanwa ko uwar wani shima sai anyi da nasa. Duk wadanda kake mu'amala dasu yayan wasu ne, kannen wasu ne, yayyen wasu ne, kuma nan gaba zasu zama matan wasu kuma iyayen wasu. To tabbas kuwa kaima sai an taba naka"
"Ya zakaji idan watarana ka dawo gidan nan ka tarar da ni da wani kato a kance turmi da tabarya akan gadon ka?"
Ya daga ido yana kallona, at first na dauka dukana zai yi saboda yadda idonsa ya juye amma sai naga baiyi komai ba sai numfashi da yake mayarwa, na cigaba
"Ya zakaji kuma idan ka bada order akawo maka "mai dan kwari haka, young" sai aka kawo maka Mufida?"
Na matsa daga kusa dashi, bana so inyi misali da Mama saboda duk da abinda Umar yayi min Mama is still like a mother to me, ba zan iya bada wannan misalin da ita ba nace "idan baka daina kayi taubatun nasuha ba, wadannan abubuwan dana lissafa maka tabbas babu makawa sai sun faru, ba wai ina gaya maka bane ba saboda na damu da kai ba, a'a ina gaya maka ne saboda na damu da kaina kuma na damu da mutanen dana lissafa. Idan da ace a kanka kawai zai kare da ko daga kai ba zan kuma yi in kalle ka ba ballantana har inyi kokarin ganin ka gyara rayuwar ma. You can rote in hell for all I care"
Na juya na bar kitchen din na koma dakina, harvna kwanta sai kuma na tuno cewa na bar gas a kunne sai na dawo na tarar dashi a tsaye still a gurin ya hada kansa da bango na wuce shi na kashe gas din na koma daki na kwanta.
Ina kwance naji shigowar sa, ban juyo ba ballantana in kalle shi, ya zauna a bakin gadon daga bayana yace
"Jidda, duk abinda kika fada akan zina haka ne, na sani, na kuma san baki yi kuskure ba, sai dai abu guda daya da baki fada ba kuma wanda nake tunanin baki sani ba shine; sex is an addiction. Addiction ne kuma mai matukar wahalar bari musamman ga wanda ya fara tun kafin ya gama hankalin kansa, someone like me. Musamman kuma in a society like ours inda ba'a bawa abin muhimmanci ba and sex is offered freely at every corner, ga wanda ba addict bane ba ma it is tempting ballantana ga wanda yake already addicted to it"
"Ban san me yasa zan gaya miki wannan ba amma dai zan gaya miki anyways, I am a sex addict. I had my first sexual experience lokacin da nake ss3, lokacin ina Lagos, with a girl da ba ma zan iya tuna sunanta ba ballantana kamanninta. I thought mistake ne nayi kuma nayi wa kaina alkawarin ba zan sake yi ba sai kuma nazo na sake din, I did it again and again. Babu wanda ya sani saboda babu wanda yake kalla ballantana ya gani. Mama da sisters dina suna nan Kano, Baba was busy da business dinsa yadda bama haduwa ma sai dare, babu wanda yasan halin da nake ciki ballantana ya ce min Umar bari, sometimes I wish wani zai ganni yayi min fada yace in bari, maybe da ban kai inda nake a yanzu ba"
"Sanda na dawo kano na shiga jami'a it became worst, saboda yammata were practically throwing themselves at me, and it was so tempting ko da ga wanda bai fara bane ba ma rayuwar jami'a sex is tempting ballantana ga wanda ya riga ya dandana yaji. All I could do a lokacin was to hide it, in boye kar wanda ya sani in cigaba da abina kawai ai watarana zan daina, I thought in na bar jami'a zan daina tunda zan rabu da yammatan"
"Sai dai I was wrong, sanda na bar jami'ar ban daina ba saboda an tura ni India kuma, inda babu ma wanda zan boyewa ko da zanyi din dan babu wanda ya damu da me na ke yi. Da na dawo kuma kudi ya fara shigowa hannuna dan haka ko ban samu ba zan iya amfani da kudi na ina siya, ballantana sai dai in van nema ba dan most of yammatan will just give someone like me for free, magana kawai zan tsara in gaya musu shikenan, ni kuma na cigaba daga inda na tsaya telling myself cewa idan nayi aure zan daina"
"And then I met and married you. I thought karshen kazantacciyar rayuwata yazo kenan but my past won't let me rest, abinda nayi a baya ya dawo ya cigaba da hunting dina shaidan ya cigaba da yaki dani yana kokarin ya cironi daga sabuwar rayuwa ta ya mayar da ni tsohuwar. Ba zaki taɓa fahimta ba Jidda, ba zaki taba fahimtar what I have been going through ba amma kamar yadda na gaya miki a asibiti lokacin haihuwar Asad shine I have been trying to stop, kuma nayi succeeding to some extent din da ba zaki gane ba dan daga auren mu zuwa yanzu bana jin affairs din da nayi having a waje zasu kai adadin yatsun hannuna daya"
"Idan da zakiyi min adalci ina so ki tambaya a groups din ku na mata na social media, zasuyi miki bayanin cewa yawancin maza masu aure da suke neman mata basa iya kula matan su na gida saboda sun riga sunyi satisfying kansu a waje zasu dawo gida ne basu da bukata kuma. Amma ke zaki bani shaida akan yadda muke da ke. Akan yadda nake makale miki duk akan kokari na na ganin nayi satisfying kaina a gurinki yadda in na fita ba zanyi sha'awar wata ba kuma. Duk da yammatan suna zuwa, da yawan su ma zuwa suke yi su kawo kansu da kansu amma in zaki tuna nakan taho daga office in zo gida gurinki a lokuta da dama ba wai dan na gama aiki ba sai dan ina bukatar ki"
"Bashir zai iya yi min wannan shaidar amma ba zan kira shi ba saboda nasan ba zaki yarda da shi ba, tun haihuwar Asad nayi cutting dinsa off, kullum mita yake yi min cewa na bar harkar ni kuma sai in kirkiri wani uzurin in bashi, idan zaki tuna a hirar mu da kika karanta yana yi min complain cewa tunda nayi aure na koyi iyayi da taste, saboda kullum in yayi min tayin mace sai na samu abinda na kushe nata saboda kawai ya rabu da ni, na kan nuna masa ni matata tafi kowa, wannan ne yasa a hirar mu kika ji yace in tafi da matar tawa mana?"
"Kuma wallahi Jidda, wallahi, tun haihuwar Asad, tun sanda nayi miki wannan alkawarin ban kuma ba sai wannan zuwan da nayi Zariya. Jidda sharrin shaidan ne, shaidan ne ya nuna min cewa ba zan iya tafiya daku ba saboda ba lallai a bamu masauki mai kyau ba ni kuma ba zan iya ajiye ku a guri marar kyau ba. Sannan kuma ya nuna min cewa ba zan iya kwana uku babu mace ba"
"Amma wallahi Jidda, tun kafin ki gani, tun kafin ki san abinda ya faru nayi nadamar faruwar sa, tun kafin in shigo gidan nan nayi blocking contact din yarinyar saboda ma kar ta kirani in zama tempted. In baki yarda ba ga wayata ki duba ki gani"
Still bance masa komai ba,
Sai ya hawo kan gadon sosai ya kwanta a bayana sannan ya saka hannayensa ya jawo ni jikinsa ya matse ni a kirjinsa, na fara kokarin dukansa da guiwar hannuna amma sai ya hade hannyenmu a guri daya sannan ya rungume ni da su duk hudun, ya kifa fuskar sa a tsakiyar bayana ya kama kuka
"Dan Allah Jidda kiyi hakuri kar ki ce zaki tafi ki karbi, Jidda in kika barni ban san me zan zama ba kuma, ba zan iya rayuwa babu ke ba kin sani. Ina sonki fiye da yadda nake son kaina Jidda. Kin ce kin tsane ni ba kya so na. Kince ba kyason ganina kuma na yarda da haka, amma ban yarda ba kya sona ba ban yarda kin tsane ni ba dan idan da akwai abinda na yarda da shi bayan son da nakeyi miki to son da kike yi min ne. Dan Allah ki taimaka min Jidda albarkacin soyayya kar ki juya bayan ki gare ni, kar ki kuma cewa kin tsane ni ba zan iya dauka ba..........."
Na ture shi da karfi na na mike zaune ina ja da baya daga gare shi.
"Can ta matse maka a matsematsin matsalar ka. Duk maganganun ka suna shiga ta kunnen hagu ne suna fita ta kunnen dama. Ni dai na gama gaya sharudai na guda uku in ka bisu zan cigaba da zama da kai ba dan halin ka ba sai dan yayan mu"
Ya mike yana rike hannuna "naji na yarda da duk abinda kika ce, sharadin farko ba kin ce in rabu da Bashir ba? I just wrote my resignation letter gobe ina fita zan printing in kai masa, na daina aiki a karkashin sa kuma na daina kula shi. Na biyu kince in daina social media ko?"
Sai ya dauko wayarsa daga aljihunsa ya zare sim cards dinsa guda biyu ya kakkarya su ya watsar sannan ya bude hannuna ya saka min wayar "na daina rike waya ma gabaki daya"
"Amma maganar aure, Jidda kiyi hakuri ba zan iya ba. Bazan iya kawo mace gidan nan in hada ki da ita ba"
Shigowar Yasmin ta katse maganar da na yi niyyar debowa in yaɓa masa, ta kalle ni sannan ta kalle shi "Daddy kuka? Sai ya saki hannuna ya sauka daga kan gadon ya dauke ta yana cewa "ba kuka nake ba, ido nane yake ciwo" ta taba idon "Daddy ka sha magani" yace "to uwata, muje ki bani maganin in sha".
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*wannan littafin na siyarwa ne bisa amana, idan baki siya ba kar ki karanta, idan kuma kin siya kar ki sharing, in kika yi kinci amana kuma ke da Allah*
*A Wise Decision*
Bayan fitarsu na tashi na zauna sosai, pillow rungume a kirjina ina going over maganganun Umar ina so in tace gaskiya daga cikin karyar da na tabbatar akwai a cikin maganganun nasa, part of me sai naji yana so ya yarda da wadansu dag cikin maganganun sa amma wani part din, the wiser part, yayi condemning fite da rabi na maganganun sa duk kuwa da cewa babu wani abu a ciki da zai nuna min karya yake yi.
He opened up and accepted abinda ni already na riga nayi accepting, wannan nasan gaskiya ne amm abinda ban yarda dashi ba shine the fact that he wants to change and is doing all his best ya ga ya chanja din, idan da haka ne ni zan sauko and we will work together har ya chanja din, zanyi hakuri kuma zan dage har mu samu nasara, together.
But matsalar shine da gaske yake yana son ya daina din? Wannan shine bangare na maganar sa wanda ban yarda da shi ba kuma kamar wancan karon abinda ya saka ban yarda da shi ba shine yanayin yadda suke magana da Bashir, babu alamar cewa sun yarda abinda suke yi ba dai-dai ba ne ba kuma mutum ba zai taba gyara kuskuren sa ba har sai ya yarda cewa kuskure ne yake yi din.
But Umar seemed to be enjoying what he was doing.
But yace min zaiyi resigning daga aiki a clinic din Dr Bashir kuma zaiyi cutting off all ties da shi. Da gaske yake? Nasan Umar da Bashir kamar hanta da jini ne anya kuwa zai iya rabuwa da shi kawai dan nace masa ya rabu da shi? Ko kuma wani plan din yaudarar ne yake shirin bullo da shi.
Ni kaina sanda na shirya sharudai na rabuwa da Bashir shine abinda nafi tunanin zai fi yi masa wahala amma kuma sai gashi shine abu na farko daya fara accepting.
Na bude hannuna ina kallon wayarsa daya saka min a ciki sannan na kalli sim cards dinsa daya kakkarya ya zubar. Da gaske yana willing to give up this saboda yana so ya shiryu ko kuma yayi hakan ne saboda ni? In har saboda ni yayi wannan ya kara nuna min irin son da yake min but it also means he is not ready to change, tunda change din zai fara shine from within himself ba wai from how I see him ba.
Na saka hannu na danne power din yawar na kashe ta, zan gani, zan ga how long zaiyi lasting babu waya a hannunsa, amma zan saka ido sosai dan zai iya siyan wata ya boye a office ko a motar sa ya cigaba da wayarsa idan bana gani. Wanda in yayi haka zai kara tabbatar min da cewa bai shirya chanjawar ba tunda ni ce baya son in gani ba Allah ba.
Har na saka phone din a cikin wardrobe sai kuma na fito da ita na ajiye akan mirror, let's see idan zai dauka. Na shiga toilet nayi alwala na fito nayi sallar azahar da naji an fara a masallaci.
Har dare bai kuma fita ba, masallaci kawai yake zuwa ya dawo ya zauna tare da ƴaƴan sa suyi wasa, ni kuma ranar kusan a daki na wuni saboda bana son zama tare da shi, ganinsa kawai bata min rai yake yi kuma na kara tabbatar wa da kaina cewa in Umar ya kuma yin halinsa tabbas sai na aikata matakin dana shirya a matsayin third step dina, ba zai yi mana dadi ba dukkan mu amma dole zanyi hakan dan samun mafita.
Da dare na hada masa ruwan wanka kamar yadda na saba sai kuma na dauki yayana na tafi dakina da niyyar yi musu wanka sai kawai na rufe kofa ta daga nan. Ina yi musu wanka suka yi bacci nima nayi shirin kwanciya nayi kwanciya ta. Ina jinsa yazo ya taba kofar, sai kuma ya tafi, and I couldn't help but salute his rashin kunya da har zaiyi tunanin zan hada shimfida dashi a daren ranar da nayi finding out abinda yayi kuma yayi confessing da bakin sa.
Sai dai baccin yaki zuwa min, na saka na warware tafi a kirga, nayi tsaki ina tuno da yadda ya saka fuskarsa a baya na yana kuka da rokon kar in tafi in barshi kamar yadda na fada, I never thought a man like him can cry like that sai a kansa, na tuno da kalmar da ya fada ta cewa yana sona fiye da yadda yake son kansa. Ya kuma ce wai ya san nima ina sonsa kuma wai I didn't mean it sanda nace na tsane shi.
Nayi tsaki, wato takamar sa kenan? Cewa ina sonsa? Yana ganin kamar ba zan iya rabuwa da shi ba? Lallai kuwa zai sha mamaki na wallahi dan ina gab da rabuwa dashi din in dai yayi exhausting dukkan matakan dana shirya zan dauka ba tare da ya gyaru ba.
But sai na samu kaina da tambayar kaina cewa anya zan iya din? Idan lokacin yazo duk da ban fatan zuwanshi zan iya din? Ba wai rabuwa da Umar din bane kadai, duk da shima babban abu ne a gurina but rayuwar da zan fuskanta idan na rabu da shi din, rayuwar da yayan mu zasu fuskanta idan iyayen su basa tare.
I can't imagine rayuwa ba tare da yayana ba, kuma na tabbatar idan har na rabu da shi din, idan har nayi succeeding gurin rabuwa dashi din, wanda shi kansa rabuwar ma nasan ba karamin yaki zanyi ba kafin in same ta, to tabbas ba za'a bar min yayana ba shi za'a bawa.
And I wonder why is that so.........
Me yasa ake bawa uba yaya idan an samu rabuwar aure.
Me yasa????????????
Ganin baccin ya gagara zuwa sai kawai na tashi nayi alwala na fara kai kukana gurin ubangiji, na sani shi kadai ne zaiyi min dukkan abubuwan da nake bukata dan ni ba zan iya ba.
Washegari ma n shirya masa breakfast kamar yadda na saba amma ban zauna ba sai tayi tafiya ta na shiga wanka. Ina fitowa ya shigo ya shirya tsaf sai ya tsaya a bayan yadda nake iya hango shi ta madubin gabana yace
"Zan fita Jidda"
Nayi kamar ban ji shi ba.
Sai ya sake matsowa jikina yace "zanje office, akwai abubuwan da ban karasa ba jiya su nake so inje in karasa, after na gama zasu dan bani hutu ko na two days ne inje in huta. Sannan zan je gurin Bashir zan kai masa takardar nan dana gaya miki na rubuta. Kina so ki karanta kafin in kai masa?"
Na girgiza kaina "menene nawa a ciki? Nace dai ka zaba ko shi ko ni kuma......."
Yace "kuma I chose you. Shikenan." Nayi shiru ina kallon sa, trying to read idanuwan sa ko akwai abinda yake boyewa amma banga komai ba, ya sake matsowa har jikinsa yana gogar nawa yace "a kwana biyun da zasu bani off, ina so mu samu fahimtar juna Jidda, ina so mu sake magana sosai kuma ina son jin duk abinda yake zuciyarki"
Nace "ni na riga na gama
